Calling, Confession, Repentance

Well That Wasn’t What I Expected

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when corrected by Him.
For the Lord disciplines the one He loves…

 

Two years ago I fell to my knees and wept.

As I prayed, what came out of me was confession of sin and repentance. On a cold night in the mountains of North Carolina, it wasn’t what I expected.

That night ushered in a new calling on my life. I had known that I was called to be a pastor, but in the days that followed that night, I became convinced of two things:

First, that I needed to have more children (which I did not want to do), and secondly, that I needed to pastor a church that plants churches (also something I did not want to do).

Both of these convictions—to have more children and to pastor a church-planting church—were placed on me over and against my sin-loving selfishness. I had become obsessed with controlling my life and surroundings, and God in His mercy was breaking me of that.

So, knowing the love and discipline of my Father, I set my feet towards that calling. I could not help but think of Peter’s response to meeting Jesus, realizing the right of Jesus Christ to demand anything:

“Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”

But now two years later, I am the proud father of my son, Levi, and weeks away from becoming the pastor of the River City Church. It seems the call to have more children and to pastor a church-planting church is actually coming true.

But more on that later.

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